


Red of blood, pain everlasting

by daughter_of_death



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Deep Thinking, IM VERY BAD AT TAGGING, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:08:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28473690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daughter_of_death/pseuds/daughter_of_death
Summary: murphy is my fav character from the 100 and from most shows too so i am going to do some stuff for him. : ) on that note, if you don't like him, then i am not going to be mad or force you to read it. its for fun, writing is fun, trying to add on to what already exists is fun, i want you reading my stuff to be fun as well, in less words, have fun with this.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/John Murphy
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Red of blood, pain everlasting

**Author's Note:**

> this work has been beta'd by unicornsarederpy24  
> please leave kudos

He was angry. Furious, exhausted and hurt. He didn't often trust people, and this was why. His ability to trust others broke as that damned crate tipped. As the noose, made up of the same seatbelts made to protect them as they came hurtling to the earth, was used to take his breath and would have been used to take his life. His ability to trust broke along with his heart, when Bellamy banished him, knowing he was sending him off to his death but was still too much of a coward to say it out loud; too much of a coward to say it anywhere but his own damned mind. 

He knew that Bellamy never believed that he had killed Wells. He couldn't have. Hell, unless he had gained the ability to be in two places at once, because the night that Wells was killed was spent with Bellamy. He’d even told Bellamy that he lost his damn knife, silently disappointed that they wouldn't be able to practice his throwing skills in the morning. He never wanted that little thief to die. Did he want to scare the ever loving shit out of her? Yes, she stole his knife to kill jaha jr and she knew damn well what she was doing. She needed to be scared so that she never did something like that to him ever again. 

He knew that he was scaring her, but he didn't think she would jump. He can't really blame Bellamy for the beating, that part he could understand. He had fucked up. He just wished it had stayed at that. He tried to stay strong. He had held out for so long. So long that they had to resort to drugging him to get him to talk. When he got back in he was more angry. They all acted like they had never done anything. Like they did not start it. It pissed him off. 

He got his revenge though. He regretted what he did to bell. What he did was not as bad as what happened to him. But that didn't matter much. He would be the one to admit that he was just as bad as Bell. He had also hurt someone he loved, only this time it was in the name of revenge, all the while lying through his teeth. Pretending that what he was doing didn't hurt as much as it did when it happened to him. Pretending that all he wanted to do was stop, to beg Bell to understand and for things to go back to how they were. 

But it was too late for that, so he did what he could. He made sure that the chair was close enough for him to be able to get back on it before time ran out, he made sure that he would survive even if the same care had not been given to him. When the seatbelt had uncliped he had felt panic, a type of panic he hadn't felt since his feet left the crate, since the chair had moved from Bell's feet. It was the kind of panic that made everything else disappear, leaving only what you were focusing on. 

For him, it was not dropping them. It was holding the pain in and dealing with it, it was knowing that this was hurting him and not caring because Bell's life was on the line and even if Bell never looked at him like he used to, he would still go off the deep end if Bellamy wasn't there to push him away. After that things were on an up-and-down tilt. Clarke leaving him there, then making him pump that bitches heart isn't something he can ever forgive. But it is something he didn't know if he could ever even bring it up.

**Author's Note:**

> email me at cvycotrea@gmail.com if you want to request a fic or come join my writing server. Link: https://discord.gg/qQVRfmjsQz


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